Tired

I'm just too tired of reading all these postings, to write down what im actually thinking and feeling after this horror-show. I am a 29 years old german from western Germany. I was raised by a loving and caring Mother, who brought us through hard times. And by my grandfather, who taught me to honour live and how to repair my bicycle. He couldnt even kill an Insect, literally(!). I am talking about a hornet that botherd my mother, when she was a child. When I was a child, I wanted to join a Sportsclub to shoot with airguns. My grandmother was so shocked when she just heard the words "join" and "rifle"... it was just about a few weeks, that I went there... pretty boring thing to my taste. We, my friends and I, are agreed to meet and watch the soccer game today. Germay in the finals of the European Championship 2008. Most of us, including me, are not realy into soccer. But I think its even more fun, if you dont take it so seriously My friends are ... maybe frustrated, sometimes bored, but at least peaceful humorous people. I do not ever want to glorify any of them. Neighther my family. My other grandfather probably was an on nazi. I never met him. No one from my family liked him very much. He kept his thoughts for himself, liked alcohol too much and died. But to call all germans ... which includes my parents, my so very very kindhearted mother and her parents and my good friends and all the good and openminded people I know here... nationalists, racists, evil/hatefull people and even (which it combines it all) "nazis" is such an insult. What - are - you?
I dont want to deny that there are (let me take a alliteration from a Mel Brooks Film "neo-nazi-nitwits" here in Germany. And that even one is one too much! But what I've learned about nazis is that they are in every contry! The so called "white-pride" in America, those in South-america, in Denmark, in the UK and even in Russia, and they are interacting and comunitcating. I've learnd to try to look at people separately.
I is, like some one here said: you'll find what you are looking for. So i decided to search for kindhearded, open-minded people everywhere I go.
I've visited the US, Italy, the Netherlands, Belgium and Switzerland and found nice people everywhere. Not only nice people. But hat NY for example, because of that UPS-Guy is as stupid for glorifing it for John the busdriver I had so much fun with, talking about baseball. Or Belgum for that ignorant thug, they through out of the party-room and this nice couple that spent my friends and me shelter. (and so on)
I dont write this to "apologize" or to "vindicate" myself.
I just wanted to write about what I feel, because a lot of your topics are just about that: Feelings.
To say that "When germany starts the next war, well be ready" and stuff like that ... what kind of feeling lies behind those expressions? I just cannot avoid drawing a picture of someone, sitting in his/her basement, polishing his/her gun and focusing his/her complete frustration, anger and things like that on a group of people, wearing one of this popular signs, handed out so generously in the history of man-kind, that says "free to be hated, becaus of some ... reasons". But this ist just another cliche.
Germany isnt the best place to live in or to grow up in. Maybe not even a good one. But it isnt the worst, too. At least it is a big mixture of accents, mentalities und modern and traditional sub-cultures itself (or small in comparison to other countries). Its incomplete, incorrect and in a great need to be improved. Typical human, you know? I had to learn that here so much more to discover than just one unique culture. And that my hometown differs alot to the nearby ruhrarea and even from part to part. But Germany wants to learn and to improve, as much as any other(!) contry (which maybe isnt enough yet). And i hope that those of you, who are here, disliking it and thier time here, just find the strength to try to improve it... just a little bit and just "try". And if not, try to focus on what you like, to find what you like.
I dont think Ill come back here to this forum to respond to any... respondings, if there might be any. Because its 5:42 am in the morning, and (I know that might sound a little frightening "hippie-ish" for some of you) the birds outside just reminded me of doing something I never did often enough:
Enjoing LIVE!

Ich wünsch Euch was. (~I wish you something (good))

just some reader 29 Июн 2008, 06:00 - Report