Re Nice German

having had the misfortune to grow up in Germany as a child and for a while also in my teens before returning for three years to see how I really felt and, I suppose, to give the country a chance, I was so glad when I stumbled upon this forum. These are my experiences in Germany and I have to admit here that unfortunately, I was fully integrated i.e. spoke the language like a native, went to the same schools as my peers and could easily have been mistaken for a German. I've lived in several different countries and even in the ones said to be reserved, have integrated extremely well, even in those places where I didn't speak the language.

There are good and bad people everywhere but nowhere have I been constantly threatened every step of the way. Some examples: as a child, one of my best friends was Turkish, whenever we were on the playground together, parents would move their children away.

Auslaenderdeutsch. My parents always spoke the language with an accent and never very well and the amount of people who addressed them with the familiar "du" would fill volumes, even the mother of a schoolfriend couldn't bring herself to speak slower but instead had to resort to deliberately mangled grammar and of course speak in a louder voice. This is extremely hard to deal with as a child, now I tell them off of course but as a child, when you are taught to respect your elders, it's a whole different story.

anti-Semitism. subtle and less so. Teachers were recquired to talk about the Holocaust in German class as well as in History. Most did the minimum, if that. Only one teacher went out of his way to really make his students read and even brought in other books, movies, suggested follow-up material. He was not of German origin though. Meanwhile, the History teacher made it very clear that "the number of Jews killed wasn't as high as they claim it was". And this in a class of Neonazis. I have to give credit to a German art teacher though, who took the Neonazi's sidekick to task. And I didn't even like that art teacher particularly but that gesture I always respected. Only one girl ever stood up to another Neonazi who was spreading lies about me. And that's in a school of about 800 people. And Neonazi events did have cops for backup but they were always standing very far away so that if anything happened, they would a) not see it in time and b) would rather gang up on some innocent foreigner who may have had too much too drink or just looked foreign. Even my mom had cops come up to her and ask her where she's from only to be told, "aren't you scared to walk the streets here" in a threatening manner. Even in school, there was no one to turn to. When I mentioned to the Vertrauenslehrer (a teacher, to whom you can bring all your issues)that the Neonazi had insulted me, his comment was, "but you called him an asshole, so I would watch what I say." And this from a liberal.

People not wanting to rent to foreigners, European or otherwise. What also cracks me up are the people who say things like "it's a pity what happened to the Jews and others in the Holocaust" but then turn around and bash Turks and other nationalities. But the minute they hear that you're from a country they think is cool or from the UK and France, they kiss your behind big time.

That sense of Ueberheblichkeit, that condescending arrogance. Not just in Germany but also abroad. Where I live now there are many Germans coming and the way they behave is . . . well, you have to see it to believe it, demanding they be let in to clubs and bars even when the guy at the door tells them that the place is too packed, asking him why he's so mad when he's speaking in a quiet voice and just tells them politely that he can't let them in. But at the same time there is also cowardice, they can only do this when they have backup and they have to make sure that they have said backup first. I also find it ironic that when in Germany, people will openly tell me, this is how we see foreigners, Jews, the Holocaust and then, when I point out that after all, I am one, too I always get, "oh but that's different."

These are just a few examples of what I've encountered and this was in one of the most economically stable area.I should also mention that my parents both dealt with this much better, my mom still likes Germany and my dad would also try and impress on me, that just because someone's grandfather was a Nazi, that doesn't make them one. But the incidences and facts speak for themselves. There are a few Germans I manage to be friends with, three altogether.

I find this interesting because as I mentioned, I was fully integrated, spoke the language and could have been taken for a German easily. And while some things are the same everywhere, crappy bureaucracy, annoying incidents and so on, I can usually shrug it off, except in Germany. I think that with countries it is like with people, some you like, some you don't and others you might learn to like over time. And you should by all means be open-minded and accept that things are different. And somehow, knowing all that, I still am unable to do that with Germany and I admit, based on all these things growing up and then again when I went back, I don't even want to.

Globetrotter 01 Май 2009, 05:15 - Report